Assuming that we are all short on time and have a backlog of unread stuff on Google Reader, I will here summarize all the ideas I had this week that are not worth writing 500 words about:

Bloglet 1: I never really enjoy snow days as much as I should because all day I’m thinking to myself, “I should be enjoying this.”

Bloglet 2: Why I hate talking on the phone. Texting is much better. This is because I am an asocial, laconic person and the only people who call me are recorded messages.

Bloglet 3: About those people who come to the door carrying clipboards and asking me to sign things. Then they show me pictures in a plastic sleeve and tell me why I should be outraged that this is going on. Then they ask for money. Then I close the door. Because I’m asocial.

Bloglet 4: I forget to use enough emoticons when I’m being satirical and ironic. :-/ This is because everything I write is satire or irony.☺ People think I’m serious and become outraged. ☹

Bloglet 5: How I learned to eat breakfast without a newspaper. Why do they still publish those things, anyway?

Bloglet 6: Why celebrities give their little girls last names for first names: Madison, Taylor, Harlow. (Answer: because of Daryl Hannah.) I’m going to have a daughter and name her Wachtelhausen.

Bloglet 7: Why writers blog about writing. (Answer: we’re avoiding our unfinished novels.)

There you have it – a week’s worth of posts, 252 words. Look how much time I’ve saved you.

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 14 other followers