Bloglets

Assuming that we are all short on time and have a backlog of unread stuff on Google Reader, I will here summarize all the ideas I had this week that are not worth writing 500 words about:

Bloglet 1: I never really enjoy snow days as much as I should because all day I’m thinking to myself, “I should be enjoying this.”

Bloglet 2: Why I hate talking on the phone. Texting is much better. This is because I am an asocial, laconic person and the only people who call me are recorded messages.

Bloglet 3: About those people who come to the door carrying clipboards and asking me to sign things. Then they show me pictures in a plastic sleeve and tell me why I should be outraged that this is going on. Then they ask for money. Then I close the door. Because I’m asocial.

Bloglet 4: I forget to use enough emoticons when I’m being satirical and ironic. :-/ This is because everything I write is satire or irony.☺ People think I’m serious and become outraged. ☹

Bloglet 5: How I learned to eat breakfast without a newspaper. Why do they still publish those things, anyway?

Bloglet 6: Why celebrities give their little girls last names for first names: Madison, Taylor, Harlow. (Answer: because of Daryl Hannah.) I’m going to have a daughter and name her Wachtelhausen.

Bloglet 7: Why writers blog about writing. (Answer: we’re avoiding our unfinished novels.)

There you have it – a week’s worth of posts, 252 words. Look how much time I’ve saved you.


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