The World Would Be a Better Place If…

…we would all speak Latin. The fact that the Romans won all those wars while trying to remember all those declensions and conjugations is a testament to their perseverance. Making Latin the universal language (as it once was) just makes a lot of sense.

If we all spoke Latin, we’d all have to carry dictionaries. It’s hard to argue with people when you have to look up words. There would be fewer wars.

And we’d have to make up words for things involving technology, which could be fun. We could have contests to see who could make the best words. Or we could just give up technology, and the world would be a lot cleaner.

We could also start using cows as currency, as the ancients did. That would put farmers way ahead of the rest of us, which is only fair, since farmers have been struggling in this economy. And cows produce a lot of manure, so we wouldn’t have to put chemical fertilizers in the ground.

Going back to Roman numerals would be a great equalizing factor, too. Have you ever tried to do long division with Roman numerals? Computers would be much slower, so people would spend less time online. People who could figure out how to multiply would automatically be awarded college degrees. That would maybe solve the drop-out crisis.

I am going to send a letter to President Obama, recommending that he start speaking Latin all the time. I think he knows a little, since he went to law school and all that. Press conferences would be much longer, but more civilized. Latin is a pretty polite language, I think.

Powered by Plinky


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 14 other followers

%d bloggers like this: